Weekend Review

The weekend was great!
It was quite a respite to not deal with the ‘thing’ we’ve been consumed about for weeks.
It was all about just having fun with the family and not thinking about anything else.

We decided to spend the night at my parents’ on Friday since we had planned to head out early Saturday morning. Jake was excited come Saturday morning since we’ve hyping him up for our road trip. Somehow he thought we were having a “boat trip” and that’s what he asked me when he opened his eyes: “is today our boat trip?” He was excited nonetheless. By 7:30am, the van was all packed and everyone situated to start heading out. We had to make a quick stop to pick up my brother who decided to come at the last minute. It would’ve been nice if the girls made it as well. Mom & Dad’s friends met up with us at my brother’s as well and caravan-ed with us up to Reno. I kept bragging about how the morning’s Starbucks run would be on me since I had a gazillion Starbucks card and after 7 coffees (3 Tall, 1 Tall Drip, 1 Venti, 1 Venti Shaken Tea, and 1 Grande) and 1 chocolate milk later, I only had to spot one tall drink out of pocket. Gotta love them Starbucks cards I tell yah!

Because my aunt is in town (my parents dragged her with them when they came back from Manila) and has been here all other seasons but winter, we made a quick stop for her to experience snow for the first time. It was the cutest thing ever! She was bundled up, thinking the snow would be so cold! And yet, Jake was playing with the snow 2 feet away from her, in jeans and a long sleeve shirt, with no jacket on. My brother (the paparazzi) took gazillion pictures of us (the long coveted family picture perhaps?) as well as solos of Jake which turned out really cool. The weather was great – it was the perfect weekend to head up to the mountains. The weather was clear and the air was crisp and the only reminder that we were just ending winter was the snow-capped mountain tops.

We got to the hotel just after lunch and after getting situated (with all three rooms right next to each other), everyone ended up in our room to rest and chat. The grown-ups decided to head down and try their luck at the slots while I put Jake down for a nap since we anticipated a long night for the little boy. That and he was also running a slight fever. The husband came up after a while, after losing some $$ and decided to crash as well. A little bit later, Mom was knocking on our door, ready to take a nap! They all slept, while I freshened up. I couldn’t stand the cigarette smelling clothes and hair! Yuck!

Rendezvous for dinner was scheduled at 5:30pm at the lobby. Since there was a bowling tournament in town, we all decided to beat the buffet crowd by heading out early. Everyone was saving their appetite for dinner, and the boys were certainly elated to find out that they can indulge in crab legs the whole night! We ate, and talked, and sat, and ate some more and ended up being there for 3 hours!!! Since no one had won (yet), everyone was taking their aggressions out on the buffet tables! J.

We decided to take Jake to Circus Circus (since Reno is not like Vegas where there are TONS to do with kids) to indulge his heart out at the arcade. He had fun, and as much as we don’t want to admit it, we had fun too. He won (or Daddy won) a couple of toys which he carried with him anywhere he went for the rest of the weekend.

If you’ve never been to Reno, it almost feels like you never left the Bay Area when you get there. There’s bound to be somebody you know who you’ll run into while in town. During dinner, Auntie A saw someone she knew sitting across from us. After dinner on the way to Circus Circus, my mom ran into someone she used to work with. So I was wondering if the husband or I will see someone we now. Who did I end up running into? My ex-best friend! Boy that was awkward!

Why ex-best friend? Because we used to be friends. Not anymore. At least, I don’t think so.
We actually grew up together. We’ve actually known each other since kindergarten.
There were actually 3 of us: me, BFF C and J.
J and I met each other first – first day of kindergarten. Ever since then we were inseparable. Our kindergarten teacher, Mrs. J, was my aunt’s (the one that’s here with us now) cousin-in-law and Mrs. J arranged for me and J to be in the same class every year since then. BFF C ended up in the same class in 2nd grade – and the 3 of us became inseparable then.
J’s and my family moved to the States within years of each other.
I was her Maid of Honor. I’m her baby girl’s godmother.
She was also part of my wedding, but I think this is where it all began…

I’ve always thought BFF C and I were meant to be BFF’s. When we were younger, we even looked alike. BFF C lives in Manila with her hubby and baby girl, E. She and I spent most of our friendship apart but the distance was never an issue, ever. I stayed with her and her family whenever I was in Manila and I purposely extended my stay every time so I can be with them. She stayed with my family too whenever she was in town. We squeezed ourselves in one tiny twin bed – only to spend the whole night giggling and talking and reminiscing. Even if we were apart, we always knew what was going on with each other. And on my wedding day, she was right next to me as my Maid of Honor, just as I was when she got married two years later. She called me two hours after I gave birth, anticipating even as she was on the other side of the world. She was in my thoughts as she was going through a very hard pregnancy, and eventually a c-section (like me). We have just always been there for each other. Period.

J, however, had a personality all her own. She was always the vocal one – crass at times. She would say things that I would never hear BFF C say. J just had that type of personality. Like it or leave it. She and I had gotten into heated conversations at times, but we eventually got over it. Or maybe we didn’t.
I was never her biggest fan when it came to her choices of men. And when she met her hubby, I had reservations. I saw him treat her questionably at times, but in the end, she was sure he was who she wanted to marry. I felt like, as her BFF and maid-of-honor, I had to let her know of my reservations and she assured me that she was going to be in good hands. He’s not my favorite person, but then again, I’m not the one who has to live with him for the rest of my life.
She however had no qualms letting me know how she felt about the men in my life.
She hated L-the-ex. She thought he was no good and when things fell apart between me and him, her instincts were confirmed.
She wanted to hear about the guys I dated – but always had something to say (“he lives too far, how do you know he’s sincere?”…”are you sure about him?”…).
She wasn’t too thrilled about the husband either. But somehow I feel like the feeling is mutual J. Ha!

When I got engaged and told her about the news, her first reaction was “are you sure!” I was hoping for a “oh my gosh I’m so happy for you!” And when I asked her to be a sponsor at my wedding, I was hoping she’d say “I’d be honored” and not “Oh, ok!”
I think she was expecting that she was going to be the MOH – but I have a sister who was my Matron of Honor, and BFF C who I wanted to be my MOH. I don’t think she was too happy with the role she played at my wedding party. Even her message at the video was quite trite. But I’m not going there…

I’m her baby’s god-mother…and as of late, it seems like it’s only valid on paper.
But, she’s not Jake’s god-mother. BFF C is. And I believe that’s the straw the broke the camel’s back.
Now, she’s really pissed.
I suppose once you become a mother, it’s like ‘forget me, just don’t forget my child.’
I always remember hers, but she never remembers mine.
Fine, lately it’s all about material things – meaning, the extent of my god-motherness has only (regretfully) been with gifts, but I never forget.

I don’t have a lot of friends – but I think my friends will and can tell you that I’m a nice friend (come on, people! Be nice!).
I never forget birthdays or anniversaries – fine I may be late but I never forget.
And when I get to it, I send cards (and now that I work for a card company, I have no excuse now, do I?).
If I don’t get around to it, I call (and my friends know how I hate to talk on the phone!).
OR – I email (now I’m the best at that!).
I (used to) always send cards to J: birthday (hers is in June), anniversary (also in June), Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter, etc…
The cards I send out to anyone almost always have a little note on the side so it’s personal, coming from me.
J only sends one card – Christmas. And she writes it like she’s sending it to someone she just met. I hate it. You’ve known me for 20+ years – can you at least make it personal?!?!

So like three years ago, after years of being the one sending cards, and leaving messages and sending notes, I had an epiphany and gave up. I figured, if she treasured me as a friend like I did her, she would extend her arm long enough to meet mine. She would make the effort of sending me birthday cards, or leave me a greeting, or try to schedule a lunch date. Whatever. But she never did. And yet I felt like it was MY obligation to do that to her. So I got pissed. And I stopped.

The annual Christmas card and newsletter still finds its way from my house to hers. But that’s about it. My god-daughter gets her gifts in the mail – which is really sad. She probably thinks I work for Santa.

So anyway – we ran into them. My face must’ve been white as rice since I felt all the blood got drained from my face. But I’m not too worried because she had the same look in hers. We had small talk – thank goodness my mom was standing next to me and helped the flow of the conversation, because I didn’t know what to talk to her about. I couldn’t even say “I love your hair” – like how girlfriends should talk to each other. I carried my god-daughter who gave me the “who the hell are you” look. It’s uncanny how she looked just like her mom. Jake got curious as to who she was and eventually gave her one of the bears he won at the games. I was so proud of my son right at that moment. We stood right next to each other and watched the circus act. After that, we parted ways. That was the most uncomfortable 10mins of my life… and the saddest 10mins of my life. I watched as my ex-best friend walked away…probably feeling the same uneasiness that I had. Her husband probably asked her the same question the husband asked me – ‘what happened with you two?’

This is a good question, if you ask me.
My mom said it’s sad what happened, only because we’ve been friends for so long.
But as you grow up, is it enough to stay friends with someone only because you’ve been friends for so long?
I just don’t even know if I have anything in common with her anymore. We did or else we wouldn’t have been friends for that long – but so much has happened in the past 3-4 years… I don’t even know where to begin to rekindle a friendship that’s been separated by time.
But isn’t it just fair to expect your friend to work on the friendship as well, and not just have the responsibility on you?

I’m hoping the time that has come between our friendship now, will be the same time that will bring us together some day.
Only time can tell…
That I know for sure.