No one said it was easy...

Parenting, that is.

.. and last night, it wasn't so much what my little boy did or didn't do... it's more about how it felt like to 'fail' as a parent. It's not a good feeling. Not at all.

And perhaps I'm putting more into it than I need to? After all, he is only 5 years old.

But that's just the thing. What the husband and I have always done was never treat him any different just because he is 5 years old. He is not only 5. He is 5.

I know he's testing his boundaries. I know he's trying to see how far his limit goes. His actions and his verbosity has grown in ways that maybe we are not quite ready for. All of which has thrown us completely off in the Parenting Department.

The husband and I have never claimed to have it down when it comes to parenting our boy. After all, we had him when we least expected it. We were pregnant one month after we got married - and we welcomed the challenges of being newlyweds and first time parents with loving, longing arms. We were never the 'conventional' parents. We didn't go crazy with baby-proofing the house. We figured, if he got into something that he wasn't supposed to get himself into, then it will teach him a lesson to not do it again. We never 'baby-talked' him. This is why he started talking just after turning 1, and speaking clear sentences by the time he was 2. We didn't even sing a lot of nursery rhymes and lullabies to him. And we credit that for his singing abilities - starting with Barry Manilow songs at 2 1/2, and graduating to Boyz II Men by the time he was 4.

But what remained constant was the morals and virtues we instilled. Manners are very important in our household. Pleases and Thank You's are a big deal. Respect for everyone, and for elders and by elders we mean everyone who is older than him, including his cousins who are only a couple of years older. I grew up in a household where acknowledging people when you come and you go are as important as your word. That's the same quality that we are teaching him now.

Anyways... long story short... I am moving on emotions. It's not about the expectations I have on my boy... but maybe it's more about the expectations I have on myself. Right now, it doesn't feel so good.

Signed - Debbie Downer.