REALLY...Who comes up with these?!?!?!

Why Cry Baby Cry Analyzer
Why Cry - the world's first patented baby cryer analyzer. The instructions are enough to make me laugh, if you ask me!
Turn on Why Cry and place it close to the infant (between 20" and 6' depending on weight). Analysis takes about 20 seconds. Results are displayed when the icon lights up. Unit returns to wait mode after 1 minute.
The 5 icons indicate whether your baby is annoyed, bored, hungry, sleepy, or stressed/colic. Love how they have "colic" as the last category, which seems to be the all-around reason if you (or the Analyzer) can't figure out the cry. It's targeted for new parents (desperate and sleep deprived, most likely), but seriously, can you see yourself holding up the Analyzer to your crying baby for 20 seconds so that a battery powered device can figure out what your baby needs?


The Children's Paper Chair
The Children's Paper Chair is shaped like a toilet paper roll - simply pull the paper for a continuous clean drawing surface. The more the child draws, the bigger the roll and seat. There's about 500 meters of paper here which could last you quite a bit. Goodluck if you're potty training - your child might just mistake this big ol' roll for his potty!

The Thumb Guard

Jake sucks his thumb and it's like a bad cigarette habit that is so hard to stop... but really, even I wouldn't like to have my thumb in a plastic case. Thumb Guard guarantees that your child will stop thumb-sucking after 3 weeks of wearing this gadget. I guarantee you that the thumb-sucking will stop, but the out-of-control temper tantrums will not!