Dealing with the Inevitable ...

Jake was only 9mos old when he met my Lola and of course he doesn't remember her if you ask him .. but the memories he has of Lola are the stories we all share with him and for him, it's all good enough.

The news of my 90-year old Lola's stroke and precarious health has made me an emotional wreck for the past couple of days. My parents are flying out tomorrow to be with her, along with family who have flown in from all over just to be there with her, to be her own personal pep squad. How I hate the fact that we are so far away. How I wish I can be there with her as well.

Yesterday, after receiving news of Lola's condition and after I got off the phone with Dad in tears, Jake asked me what's wrong. I told him that Granny is very, very sick and we have to prepare ourselves in case Papa God says it's time for her to go to heaven. Did I think Jake understood? Not really. So he went about doing his own thing in his room, only to come out with a card he said he made for Lola. His card says "Feel better now, Granny. I love you. Jake"

How do I prepare my 6yo for something like this when I don't even know how to prepare myself. I can't explain to him how sick his Granny is ... and I'm even more afraid to tell him if Granny leaves us for heaven.

My husband went through a painful loss last year when his own grandmother passed away, and I shudder at the thought that I might have to go through the same emotions with my own grandmother. It's a pain that's indescribable. It's a loss that is immeasurable. How do you prepare children for something like this? I don't know ...

It makes me feel so helpless to be so far away. Facebook is keeping my sanity!! :) The wonders of technology. My cousin is a rockstar and continuously keeps us updated on the latest news via mobile. This morning's news of Lola's improvement was really an upper, but tonight's latest news of an abdominal infection and internal bleeding is proving to be a real doozy.

I pray for her comfort. I pray that she be spared of pain.
She has given us 90 years of her vivaciousness.
I think she deserves to go in peace, if it's His will.